Prologue: Why Me?

Prologue

There had been this guy.

Never mind the name. Rhoda thought it was the classic boy-meets-girl story. He was a pretty decent guy, pretty cute too. He was funny, he was smart and like all first loves; the days had been spent with her floating aloft in Cloud Nine.

But then he made a queasy face and said, "Let's just be friends."

ToonTown experienced a Richter scale of level 9 earthquake when Rhoda crashed down to earth.

As she rose out of the bunny-shaped hole with stars dancing around her head, she vowed to never make the same mistake again –by being the best girl space friend a guy can ever have.

Baby Hermina always says she's naive but Rhoda would beg to differ.

The rabbit stretched her arms, taking in the sunlight. Humming, she skipped to the direction of the studio.

A group of cartoon choir girls walked by her and she waved at them. They waved back and started whispering to each other.

Oh, right, she thought, I knew this would happen.

Gossip is strong in ToonTown. Of course, one of the circulating gossips would surround Jesse Krupnick –the "hot male vocalist" that was catching the eye of women and women-at-heart, toons and humans alike.

Rhoda rolled her eyes, people would make up anything. Ever since Jesse had become an extra in their show, it couldn't be help that there'd be people involved in the make-believe drama. Being A-list toon stars, Rhoda and Mina have their fair share of gossip but not as intriguing as that of their friend.

Right now, the gossip surrounds him and her. She gave out a bubbly laugh –a rabbit and a humanoid toon? Whoever heard of such a thing? But that is gossip for you.

She knew what to do. She got it all down the pat backed by a long history of being one of the boys.

Phase one, she and some guy would become friends. They'd talk, they'd laugh, and they'd enjoy each other's company.

Phase two, that companionable bond would become a bond of kinship. Outsiders would see a guy and a girl and they'd get ideas. This is where boy would get uncomfortable.

Phase three, was The Talk. Make it clear to him that you know what he feels and tell him you feel the same for him: "Just friends." Boy would then be relieved and everything would be back to normal.

Mina should eat her bonnet, kettle and every idiom of a nonbeliever.

"Hi, Jesse!"

A tall, elegant figure turned to face her. Rhoda was too used to the jazz music playing in the background to notice its regular occurrence whenever he was around.

Emerald eyes flickered up from the book he was reading and held her sunny smile for a moment. Jesse then broke contact and resumed flipping the pages.

"I should never have bought 'Gone with the Wind' in a toon bookstore," he said, his brows mildly creased with confusion, "When I opened the pages, all the words were blown away."

"Gone with the Wind?" Rhoda asked, she grabbed his book and flipped it open, "That's easy. Thhhhhhhhppppppptttt!"

Jesse blinked with shock after Rhoda made a raspberry at the pages. She gave it back to him and he was even more surprised when he saw the words were back again on the book.

"It's in the tip of your tongue!"Rhoda exclaimed, "Jeepers! That's the trouble with you humanoid toons. You think too much like humans!"

Jesse's lips quirked into a cool, half-smile that a lot of fangirls would kill for.

"Whatever would I do without you?" he asked, settling back on his chair.

Rhoda laughed and plopped herself on the table beside him.

Time to initiate Phase Three.

She grabbed a magazine and flipped through it. Before doing The Talk, make sure both of you are preoccupied with an activity to dissipate the incoming awkwardness.

"So, Jesse," she said, skimming over an ad for electric seat buzzers, "Heard the latest gossip today?"

Jesse gave a noncommittal shrug, "I couldn't care less."

"Well, there's this gossip around Mauve Studios," she continued and rolled her eyes, "And you know how people are."

Emerald eyes rose above the rim of his book. Just because he didn't care about gossip, didn't mean he hadn't heard them. Rhoda found a crossword puzzle and took out a pen.

"One of 'em is about you and me," she said, chewing her pen thoughtfully before scribbling in the boxes, "And don't worry, I'm not getting any funny ideas."

There. Simple, cool and casual. No drama. This was almost like clockwork. Boy would either answer with a laugh or a funny remark. Rhoda would play-threateningly ask if they're the ones getting funny ideas. They would then banter away with the issue solved and completely forgotten.

Jeepers, she should write a book. She happily answered another question as she let her dangling legs swing over the edge of the table. Her head cocked to the side thoughtfully. It looked more fun to shade the boxes to form a flower instead.

"What kind of gossip anyway?"

Rhoda looked up in surprise. Well, Jesse isn't like most guys. She shrugged and went back to her crossword puzzle.

"You know, people think there's something going on between us. I mean, come on!" she exclaimed, looking up from her puzzle, "Maybe it's because we're friends that's why we hang out together? They see a guy, they see a girl –it's very ridiculous! We're not even of the same species!"

Rhoda missed the look that flashed across Jesse's face before it became unreadable again.

"And you know what's more ridiculous? It's the majority of today's gossip is you like like me!" she dropped the magazine in a fit of laughter as she clutched her tummy at the very idea.

A shadow covered over her. Rhoda looked up to see Jesse standing in front, blocking her light. Even when she was sitting on the table, he still managed to tower over her.

"What's so ridiculous about that?" he asked quietly.

"Oh come on!" Rhoda said, wondering why one of them still doesn't get it, "Look at you!"

She gestured at him, every detail of him a dream drawn to real life.

"And look at me!" she exclaimed, gesturing to herself by giving a cock-eyed expression while circling a finger on the side of her head, "If they're going to make something up, the least they can do is make it believable!"

Jesse put his hands on the table on either side of her, leaning forward.

"They didn't make it up."

Rhoda leaned backward, suddenly aware of their proximity, "Haha, very funny, Jesse."

The vocalist gave her a smoldering gaze that would have weakened the knees of any woman, "I'm not being funny, Rhoda."

Rhoda's mouth hung open. For once, the loud chatterbox didn't have a comeback.

"They simply talk what everyone can see except you," he said.

Rhoda leaned back further that she had to prop herself with her hands. Jesse could see she's starting to shake, "J-jesse, stop it!"

"You're a rabbit, I'm a humanoid toon. So what? I've seen weirder things," he continued, stepping closer.

In an effort not to be touched by any part of him, Rhoda parted her legs. Jesse stopped when his hips hit the edge of the table.

If anyone walked in on them, ToonTown's Gossip Column would become the front page.

Heat rushed up her face. This isn't happening! Jesse? But how? When? Why? How did she end up like this again?

Hit him! Push him off and run away! Her mind screamed.

She shook her head hard as though trying to wake up from a really strange dream –or nightmare.

"I don't believe this!"

"Fine."

The rabbit gasped when he suddenly leaned closer. But Jesse stopped with their lips were only centimetres apart.

"I'm coming for you," he said and Rhoda could numbly feel his breathe upon her lips, "But you'll have to meet me one-tenth of the way."

He straightened up and steps back from a shellshocked rabbit, "That's all I ask."

Jesse walked out of the room, leaving a stunned Rhoda behind.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Even from inside her trailer, she could already hear someone calling her name.

"Miiiiiinnnnnaaaaaaaaaaa!"

The mentioned toon didn't bother to look up from her spa table as the sound got louder and louder. Nor did she turn to see who burst inside the room and slammed the door close again.

"The least you can do is knock," Baby Hermina said, taking off the sliced cucumbers on her eyes before facing the intruder.

She stopped when she saw Rhoda.

"What on earth happened to yah?"

Rhoda was plastered against the door as though to prevent anything from following her. Her eyes were wide and scared and for some reason she was breathing deep and fast.

Mina yelped when Rhoda zipped to her and scooped her up so that she was now eye-to-eye to a very frantic Rhoda.

"Mina! Something weird happened! I don't know why it happened! I don't know how it happened! It just did! It's surprising that I'm taking this very well-"

"Yes. Yes you are," Mina said dryly.

"-but why?! This is an atrocious anomaly! An eccentric enigma! A paranormal paragon! A-"

"Simple summary if ya wud just git to da point!" Mina said impatiently, her street slang sounding.

Rhoda gently set Mina down and began pacing the length of her carpet, one finger twirling her ear distractedly.

"You know my Three Steps Guide to Guy Friends, right?"

Mina arched a brow. Of course she knew about her friend's "just-a-friend" mindset. Rhoda had perfected the "Always the Friend, Never the Girlfriend" shtick since him. Rhoda continued to talk, wringing her yellow-gloved hands together.

"I mean it never failed me before. The boys are happy and I'm happy with the friendships I have made with all of them. But Jesse-"

"Wait! What about Jesse? Did that bastard did anything to ya?" Mina interrupted.

Rhoda stopped and slowly looked at her. Silence stretched between them before the doe shook her head with more vigor than necessary.

"No!"

Mina crossed her arms.

"That would have been more convincing if you're not as red as your dress," she put on her "Don't-Lie-To-Me" face, "What did he do?"

Rhoda turned redder as she slapped both hands on her face and slowly slid against the wall down the floor.

"He- he almost kissed me but didn't. He told me he likes me," she lifted her hands from her face to look at her, "Like like me, Mina. Where on earth did that came from?"

Mina calmly stood there, looking at the distressed rabbit.

"So he finally told ya, huh?"

"Who would have thought –wait, what?"

The "Baby" toon lit a cigarette, "Everybody knows, hon."

Rhoda's mouth opened and closed disbelievingly, "B-b-but I'm-" she gestured to herself, "He's a-" she gestured outside.

"So? We've got humans who got toons in a relationship. At least you're both toons," Mina said, flicking her cigarette on an ashtray.

"I'm not even in his league!" she exclaimed, standing on her tiptoes and raising one hand high above her head for emphasis.

Mina shrugged.

Rhoda grabbed her ears again and covered them over her eyes, "Why me?"

A long time ago…

Inside Maroon Cartoon Studios, a lone toon wondered inside the screening room. If Mina and Rhoda were going to take their sweet time preparing to leave, he might as well find a way to pass time. He could leave without them with no hard feelings but he liked spending time with Rhoda even if Mina was always scowling at him.

When Rhoda is around, everything is light and funny. She was the first girl who ever befriended him with no hope or intention that there'd be fireworks between them or whatever they call it in those prissy romance novels.

Besides, she makes him laugh.

Looking at the library, his finger brushed cases and cases of labelled film until something caught his eye: Rhoda Rabbit, first cartoon short.

Jesses' brows rose with interest. Funny, it didn't say "Baby Mina and Rhoda Rabbit Cartoon Short". He let it play on the machine and sat down as soon as the white screen lit up.

A nature scene brightened the screen as piano music filtered inside the room. In the middle of it all was Rhoda smiling at the camera and doing a simple sidestepping dance in time with the music. Then she sang.

(Tune shamelessly borrowed from AVByte's "Real-life Derpina")

"I want to be pretty

I want to be loved

I want to be happy

Not mocked from above"

Jesse smiled in amusement. Rhoda didn't act this cute in or out of the set. It must be one of those trial cartoon shorts for beginning toons.

Rhoda in the screen made a sad funny face as she pulled her ears around her like a hood.

"Don't want to be homely

Don't want to be lonely"

Jesse smirked, she's never self-conscious in making funny faces if it makes her ugly or not. Prettier women would be worrying over that kind of thing but Rhoda's that comfortable with her own pelt.

The camera panned around her as she twirled with her arms wide open, her ears trailing with the movement.

"Don't want to see my dreams go free!"

Her ears were always kind of distracting whenever he'd talk to her. They seem to have a mind of their own sometimes.

Jesse's eyes calmly widened in surprise when Rhoda jumped from the side of the screen and hugged a male anthromorph rabbit toon with a sappy adoring gaze.

"I just want a boyfriend

A guy of my own-"

The screen next showed the guy on a boat holding the oars. Rhoda dragged a very heavy picnic basket and jumped on the boat. The boat lurched heavily to her end, sending the guy flying into the lake.

"This way my life won't end

Forever alone-"

The boat righted again and Rhoda looked everywhere for him. When she couldn't find him, she hanged her head.

Next scene showed Rhoda pumping her fist determinedly in a (which he is looking at in an objective point of view) very cute way.

"One day I will find you

There's nothing I won't do-"

Rhoda could next be seen skipping merrily with her arms around another toon rabbit's arm. She let go of him and ran towards the camera by crossing a fastlane, the buck following her.

"-'Cause you will make my dreams come true!"

She sang happily, oblivious when the buck got hit by a passing truck on the background.

The camera then showed Rhoda dragging toon rabbit no. 3 excitedly down the street.

"We'll walk together-"

Unfortunately, the guy kept getting hit by stop signs, mail boxes and lamp posts behind Rhoda. She suddenly let him go when she saw something in the shop window and he fell down a man hole.

"-And talk together-"

After toon rabbit no. 4 whispered something in her ear, she put her hand giddily on her cheek and punched him with affection. The punch sent him into a brick wall.

"-Be locked together-"

The next scene was Rhoda affectionately tying herself with toon rabbit no. 5 –with a straightjacket.

"-In every way!"

"I think I'm seeing a pattern here," Jesse murmured as he watched Rhoda hug another toon rabbit who looked asphyxiated. A crunching sound could be heard in the background.

"There's none I'd rather

Completely smother-"

X-ray flashed on the toon guy as he passed out, unnoticed by Rhoda who was smiling at the camera with one leg popping up behind her.

"Than you my lover all day!"

The camera showed Rhoda with a heart-breaking expression.

"And if you'll cheat

You will make me bleed

I will -"

Her voice suddenly became deep and guttural as her eyes suddenly flashed red. Rabbit ears waved at the heat of the flames that burst from her very aura.

"–MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL-"

In the blink of an eye, she turned back to sweet, gentle Rhoda, blinking innocently.

"-All day!"

Jesse leaned back, shaken. He didn't know she can do that.

"I want to be pretty

I want to be loved-"

From the hallway, Rhoda wandered around looking for Jesse. Her ears twitched when she heard a familiar tune. She froze when she followed it to the screening room.

With a scream of horror, she leaped in front of the screen, waving her arms.

"Turn it off! Turn it off!"

Jesse leaned to the side, trying to watch. A cool smile playing on his lips.

"But why? It's funny."

"It's embarrassing!" she exclaimed.

"It's not," Jesse said firmly.

He pulled her to a seat beside him, "C'mon, it's almost finish."

Rhoda relented by letting him pull her and she put her hands and ears over her eyes.

"I know I am dorky

But give me a chance!"

The screen showed Rhoda chasing a very scared Cupid who was holding a paper that bans Rhoda from being matched.

"I'm not in a hurry

I just want romance"

Rhoda glared at Jesse as his shoulders shook with silent laughter. The next screen showed more of the Rhoda he knew.

"One day I will get there-"

She put her hands on her hips defiantly.

"-You doubt me I don't care"

She pointed to the far horizon, as though looking at something unreachable but with determination.

"One day I will find you

There's nothing I won't do"

The ending scene showed Rhoda holding a very large quarter. She spun around in one foot, looking up at the camera above.

"'Cause you will make my dreams-"

She let it fly into the wishing lake behind her.

"-coooome-"

The gigantic quarter hurtled towards a buck wishing for a girlfriend. Rhoda stopped spinning and spread her arms wide looking at the camera. She never noticed the coin plunging the guy into the lake behind her.

"-truuuuuuueee!"

Jesse covered his mouth as the credits roll, shaking with mirth. He looked beside him to see Rhoda had sunk lower on her seat with her yellow-gloved hands on her face.

"I can't believe you watched that," she mumbled on her palms.

"How come I never saw that on air?"

"Because," Rhoda stood up, "No other toon guy wants to work with me after that. It was the biggest mistake of my life- I only read my lines!"

She took the film and stored it back to the library.

"All those stuff you've seen? There were all accidents. I mean, I thought Joey Rabbit was acting the fainting!"

She hanged her head.

"But the director love my jinx tendencies that he never told me until the short was finished! It's how I discovered one of my comedy abilities," she sighed, "I'm a natural. A natural disaster. Every toon guy around me tends to gets hurt."

Jesse inclined his head to the side, he had heard about that.

Rhoda waved her hand dismissively to him, "You're not affected because you're Mr. Perfect!"

"I am not," he replied.

"Then how come dynamite residue doesn't stick on you?"

Jesse decided to change the subject, "I'm glad it's not aired. That short doesn't seem like you."

Rabbit ears cocked at the question, "What do you mean?"

"Rhoda chasing romance?" Jesse shook his head, "The only time I saw you swoon was when you saw that ad for Carrot Candy."

Rhoda laughed and Jesse looked at her in surprise. Usually it was Rhoda who makes him laugh. A rare smile lit up on his face that wasn't seen by a lot of people.

"And are you really going to let them show your fans that you fawn over boys?" he elaborated coolly, "You're too cool for that –or them," remembering the sappy expression on her face.

Or the way that cartoon short had made her cling on guys.

He would not honor that observation with a comment.

They walked out of the screening room. Rhoda shrugged.

"Besides, I'm not girlfriend material," then her eyes lit up, "Hey Jesse! Speaking of material, Mina and I are going to watch Treasure Island for our Pirate Special Episode-"

Jesse stared at her, only half-listening. Did she just say she's not girlfriend material?

She's this outgoing, upbeat girl who'd go out of her way to make someone laugh when she sees they're blue- including him who keeps everyone away with an icy glare. She was the one who saw past his cold façade and sincerely reached out for him even though she didn't seem to notice that she did.

He looked at the girl beside her as she continued to gesture and talk, her face contorting adorably with each new expression. A cool expression hid his torrent thoughts.

She has a sense of humour that she's never afraid to portray. She would find a ray of sunshine –no, she is the ray of sunshine- when people are after him for something else and not talent. What guy wouldn't fall for her? Even he wanted her. Are they all-

Wait -what?

Rhoda continued to talk, oblivious to the fact that Jesse suddenly stopped walking.

"-to study their lingo like 'Aaaar!, Hello Matey!, Ya scurvy scallawags!, Shiver me bones!' but we should also read the book-"

"You're a rabbit," Jesse said suddenly out of the blue.

Rhoda looked back at him and blinked in confusion, "Of course, I'm a rabbit."

She tilted her head to the side questioningly, wondering why he looked so surprised.

"Have I been anything else to you?"